


Dimples and Infectious Grins

by deanandhissammy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Stanford!Era, Unrequited Love, Weecest, Wincest - Freeform, pining!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 11:22:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5741848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanandhissammy/pseuds/deanandhissammy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Dean in love with his adorable dork of a little brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dimples and Infectious Grins

Dean didn’t remember a time without Sam. Okay well he remembered small flashbacks. Maybe? Wait wait no that’s the day he met Sam nope never mind.

Okay so there might be some memories of a time without Sam. His mom singing him something? Who knows.

Anyways. Dean didn’t remember a time without Sam. But he did remember hating Sam. He remembered loving Sam at first, well…not really love but more of a curious fascination that could be interpreted as love. But that was when he was 4 and didn’t know anything. And then he hated Sam. Hated being left alone with Sam. Hated having to look after Sam. Hated it. For like a month. But then Sam took his first steps and they were to Dean and Dean never felt more proud and he thinks that’s the time when Dean started loving Sam. Like really loving Sam.

And he couldn’t ever explain the weird tingles he’d get when they were cuddling in the same bed. His little 10 year old self just couldn’t comprehend.

And when he was 12 and figured out why he got those feelings every time Sam looked at him he freaked out for all of until Sam ran up to him and gave him a hug and looked up at Dean with that infectious grin of his.

And when he was 15 his first wet dream was of dimples and bangs and hazel eyes.

And yes when he found out what sex was he wanted to do it with Sam. But it was because that’s what he thought people who loved each other did.

And he’d bury himself in girls because maybe if he did he’d stop seeing long gangly awkward limbs and pretty pink lips and cute bashful grins.

And when Sam was 15 and he was growing out to be beautiful Dean would wake up and rush immediately to the bathroom a lot more.

He knew he was wrong. Knew Sam was normal (or at least as normal as he could be) and would never love him back like that but Dean didn’t need that. Sure, he wanted it. Almost as much as he needed air. God he wanted so much it hurt sometimes. But he didn’t need it. He could settle for casual bumps of the shoulder and play fighting when dad was gone and the grins Sam reserved for only Dean. He could live with whatever Sam would give him, as long as Sam was there.

And when Sam asked Dean for help with girls and Dean gave him all the advice he could in the most crude way possible his leer didn’t falter for a second. And when Dean listened to Sam talk about the cute girls in his class and Sam got dressed up because he actually snagged a pretty one for the dance deans heart didn’t crack at all. These girls wouldn’t last anyways. Couldn’t. Not with them moving all the time. Dean was always going to be with Sam, but those girls? They weren’t. They couldn’t ever match up.

And when Dean was 22 his entire world left him at the corner in a greyhound bus. And his heart definitely didn’t shatter then because he could visit Sam anytime. They could still be brothers. They would always be brothers. Nothing could take that from Dean. Dean would always be Sam’s older brother, and he clung to that because he knew he couldn’t be anything else.

And he’d stop by sometimes when he was in the area (no he definitely didn’t specifically look for jobs near Palo Alto just so he could be near Sam and have an excuse to see him) he’d drop by and say hello, see how it’s going. Sometimes he’d just watch Sam, just observe him. Didn’t want to bother his brother when he was studying so hard to be something big in this world. Something amazing. He just wanted to see Sam.

And Sam really did grow into his body. Got big. Gorgeous. Made all the girls (and guys) swoon. God. That did things to Dean. He’d rush out to the nearest bar after he visits Sam, get the fastest hookup and fuck her hard against a wall a table in the impala. Dean’d blow him in a stall or bend over in the bedroom. Anything to get dimples and hard muscles where there used to be baby fat and bangs off his mind.

And after two years of that and Dean saw Sam bring that pretty blonde girl home for the 4th time Dean didn’t feel like crying. Sam was getting that normal he wanted. He’d be able to have 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Maybe get the dog he always wanted. That night he found someone taller than him with bangs and dimples and lean, firm muscle. Rode him hard and fast and brutal. His eyes weren’t right. Walked funny for the next few days.

And when Dean dropped by two weeks later he had to search the entire town for the apartment he’d moved into with that blonde. He saw Sam move some boxes around and then pick her up with those huge hands of his and kissed her as she wrapped her legs around his waist and giggled.

And Dean didn’t cry that night. His heart didn’t crumble and it didn’t get swept away with the wind. He didn’t drink until he couldn’t see straight, didn’t dream about those eyes. Sam was better off without him. He wanted normal and Dean could never give him that. He deserved normal. Deserved a good life and crazy followed Dean like memories of times long past when there was a boy who looked at Dean like he held the world in his hands haunted him.

He was never good for Sam anyways. It’s better off this way.

Dean avoided California.


End file.
